How can you make your ex miss you?

It’s a common question, driven by either one of two reasons.

Reason number one:

Your ex dumped you, and you are out for revenge. You want them to regret the breakup or suffer for the actions leading to the breakup.

Then, the moment they come crawling back, you dump them just like they did you.

My question is:

Why bother?

Yes, you are angry, hurting, and devastated, and the need to strike back is understandable. But how will hurting your ex contribute to your wellbeing or peace of mind?

It won’t.

What it does is make you an ugly person. You spend too much time scheming and plotting revenge that you forget about the most important person.

YOU.

You stop enjoying your life, waste too much time being angry and vengeful, instead of healing and being happy.

So, if your reason for trying to make your ex miss you is revenge, then I have no advice for you. But I will tell you to get over it and get a life. I will also advise you to learn to love yourself enough to do things that lead to your growth and not destruction.

You stop enjoying your life
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This brings us to the second reason:

You want to make your ex miss you because you still love them and would love to rekindle the love.

For this reason, I’ve got some good news.

You can successfully make your ex miss you.

However, it’s not that easy a task.

Why do I say this?

The decision to break up with you didn’t just happen. It’s possible that your ex took some time before finally deciding the relationship needed to end. By then, they had already built emotional resistance and put up shields to protect their heart from any more pain.

For this reason, they may not be willing to get back with you, talk to you, or see you.

If you are going to make your ex miss you successfully, you need to break this resistance and create positive emotional experiences.

And how do you break this resistance?

In this post, we discuss a process you can use to build positive experiences that make your ex miss you.

But first, let us look at what happens immediately after a breakup, and how it boosts your chances of getting your ex to miss you.

Your Ex After a Breakup and How It Boosts Your Chances

You will most probably be feeling low, sad, and lethargic during the days and weeks following a breakup. Seeing pictures of your ex, the chair they sat on, or their clothes drives you to tears. Anything that reminds you of them or the breakup makes you sad.

And you know what?

It’s absolutely normal to fixate on a past relationship, and it’s an experience most people go through.

Why does this work in your favor when trying to make your ex miss you?

It means that there’s a 99% chance your ex is also feeling the same way!

Your ex could be going through the same process you are. And whether he/she is having positive or negative thoughts about you, they are thinking about you.

What if they’ve already found someone else?

Your Ex After a Breakup and How It Boosts Your Chances
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Your ex won’t stop thinking about you even when they start seeing someone else. In fact, they will most probably keep comparing their new partner to you.

It gets better:

If your ex is like most people, they will pretend to be over you while stalking you on social media and asking mutual friends about you.

Why?

Curiosity.

I am sure you’ve done the same too, and then felt horrible and frustrated after the spying.

And how does this benefit your plan to make your ex miss you?

Every time your ex stalks or checks you out on social media, they miss you more.

So, don’t lose hope yet. Your ex has you on their mind more often they care to admit, which can benefit your cause.

But even though they think about you, it will take more for you to make your ex miss you and want to get back with you.

So what do you do?

Follow this easy guide:

Make Your Ex Miss You: A 4-Step Guide

Make Your Ex Miss You A 4-Step Guide
Image via Pexels

Before we can get into the guide, is it always possible to make your ex miss you?

Well, that depends on your relationship before the breakup.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Before you try to make your ex miss you, ask yourself some questions, including:

Was yours a miserable or happy relationship?

Trust me, if your ex was unhappy or miserable, your chances of getting back together are slim. They will think of you, yes, but with anger and hatred.

And the worst part?

Your ex will be using you as an example of what to avoid in their next relationship.

However, if you were happy together and compatible, they likely also miss you and want to get back together.

Who broke off the relationship?

If you broke off the relationship, and they 100% did not want it to happen and your chances of getting them to miss you are higher.

What if they broke up with you?

You still have a chance to make your ex miss you, but you will have to work on issues that made them fall out of love. You will need to self improve and become a better version of yourself. You must also prove these changes to make your ex miss you.

However, if the reason you broke up was due to cheating, betrayal, or violence, then maybe you should rethink your quest to make your ex miss you.

But if you are ready to make them miss you, here is a process you can follow:

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 1: Observe No Contact

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 1 Observe No Contact
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No contact means ceasing any and all communication with your ex.

What do I mean by ceasing all communication?

  • No texts or calls
  • No social media chats or messages
  • No “accidental” meet-ups
  • No giving mutual friends messages for one another
  • No status updates on social media meant to target your ex
  • No obsessing over their life and what they are up to
  • No drunk calls

But why?

How would ceasing all contact make your ex miss you?

Won’t doing this make them forget you?

No, it won’t.

The no contact period serves two purposes:

Number One:

  • It Allows You to Heal
It Allows You to Heal
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The no contact period allows you to heal and gain perspective on the relationship. It gives you time and space to process what happened and the reasons that led to the breakup.

You also learn to live your life without your ex.

And how does staying away make your ex miss you?

It makes you more attractive to them. You will not be begging your ex to take you back and will be living your life.

Not convinced about this?

Well, imagine for a moment, the period before you started dating.

You were living your life as you want to, and your ex was an excellent addition to it. You were also happy and didn’t need them to have a good time, which attracted them to you.

It can also make them jealous to see you happy without them.

Which brings us to the second reason for the no contact period:

  • It Gives Your Ex a Chance to Miss You
It Gives Your Ex a Chance to Miss You
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Immediately after the breakup happens, there are a lot of bad feelings. You are both hurt, bitter, and keep remembering all the fights.

Now, if you keep contacting your ex, you keep reminding them of these negative feelings.

However, by not contacting them, you give them time to process the relationship and get past the negative feelings. They start remembering the positives and notice the gap you left after the breakup.

It makes your ex miss you and all the times you spent together.

That’s why you need to observe the no contact rule strictly. Following it can make your ex miss you while improving your chances of getting back together.

But how should you leverage the no contact period?

How to Use the No Contact Period to Make Your Ex Miss You

Yes, you can mope, cry, and grief during the no contact period. But you will also need to do more than that.

You need to do things that make you happier, stronger, and healthier physically, mentally, and emotionally.

What can you do?

  • Get active
Get active
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Don’t just spend hours and hours crying and feeling sorry for yourself on the couch. Instead, wake up, stay active, and engage in fun activities like:

  • Yoga
  • Exercising
  • Jogging
  • Hiking
  • Camping
  • Walking
  • Sports

How does doing this make your ex miss you?

Well, it does more than that.

It gets you in shape and makes you feel better about yourself.

But that’s not all.

Once you are ready to meet your ex, your good looks and feel good spirit will show and make you even more attractive to your ex.

  • Socialize
Socialize
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Right now, every cell in your body just wants to stay alone in the house, without having to face anyone. You think that if you talk to people, and they see how miserable you look, they will start pitying you.

But if you want to make your ex miss you, you need to get out of this bubble.

Get out there and mingle with old friends while meeting new ones.

  • Go on dates
Go on dates
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Yes, go on dates, but don’t start anything serious.

If you want to make your ex miss you and rekindle the love, don’t start any long term relationships.

Instead, go on casual dates.

Why should you go on dates?

It gives your ego a boost while building your confidence.

What’s more?

It helps you learn a lot about the kind of relationship you would want with your ex if you ever get back together.

What do I mean by this?

It helps you know what the new you, after healing, likes and doesn’t like. You can also identify things that made you angry during the relationship and that you let fester until they grew into a storm.

In short, it helps you rediscover yourself.

However, dating may not be the right choice for you if you keep comparing your dates to your ex. It will not also be a good option if you only talk about your ex and how they wronged you.

  • Engage in Self-Improvement Activities
Engage in Self-Improvement Activities
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The most important part of the no contact duration is self-improvement activities that make your ex miss you.

You can talk to a therapist, spend time alone discovering who you are, read self-help books, etc. Anything to help you improve physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Why is this?

To rediscover yourself. It can help you find issues about yourself you didn’t know about or ignored in the past.

What’s more?

You discover actions or inactions that led to the breakup and how you contributed. Then, and this is the most crucial part, work on changing them.

Taking care of these issues can ensure that you have a healthy relationship with your ex if you ever get back together.

  • Pursue Your Passions
Pursue Your Passions
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Participate in activities that build you up and that you are passionate about. These could be hobbies you abandoned or that you would love to try out.

For example, you could go hiking, join a book club, or take a cooking class.

But what should you do after the no contact period is over to make your ex miss you?

Read about it in the steps that follow:

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 2: Use Social Media

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 2 Use Social Media
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Social media can be the ultimate tool to make your ex miss you or the one that makes you lose them forever.

So which social media sins would make you lose the opportunity to make your ex miss you?

Being too needy: Constantly chatting up your ex, commenting on their updates, and posting targeted posts.

Spying: Using it to spy on your ex’s moves. Doing this puts you in a position where you can misinterpret your ex’s updates and heighten your fear of losing them forever.

How can you use social media to make your ex miss you?

Share photos of yourself staying active and having fun, but be careful not to overdo it. Do not be one of those people who post the play-by-play of their lives.

Instead, if you want to make your ex miss you, get them hooked on your social media account.

And how can you hook them?

Post pictures as you have the time of your life without your ex, but don’t be too obvious about your plan. Be subtle and natural while avoiding captions that show off or offer advice.

For example, to make your ex miss you, you can post pictures of yourself:

  • Touring places with fantastic scenery
  • Having fun at the club or bar
  • Enjoying a fun party
  • Taking a hike or camping

So how does this help make your ex miss you?

It makes them jealous while hurting their ego.

Your ex will keep wondering why you are having so much fun, instead of being distraught about losing them.

Another way to use social media to make your ex miss you is to post pictures while having fun with a friend of the opposite sex.

For example, if you broke up with your boyfriend, post pictures of yourself with another guy, as you hike, play a game, take coffee, etc.

post pictures of yourself with another guy
Image via Pexels

But be careful that this doesn’t burn you.

How would this happen?

Posting pictures of you grinding with some other guy at the bar, kissing, or holding your hips can make your ex think you are not worth it.

Instead, post photos that make your ex wonder who that other person is and whether you guys are dating. The pictures should not repulse them or make them hate you even more.

Your goal at this point should be to get your ex to look forward to seeing your updates, miss you more, and start having feelings for you.

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 3: Become Your Ex’s Friend

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 3 Become Your Ex's Friend
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At this point, you’ve played your cards right and are ready for limited contact.

What do I mean by this?

You’ve managed to make your ex miss you to the point where they initiate contact.

But how should you respond?

  • If your ex texts you, respond with short, sweet replies that are both polite and respectful.
  • If your ex calls, talk for a little while about anything else in your lives except the relationship.
  • If you meet at a party or event, treat them like an old friend. Do not showcase a “don’t care attitude” and instead use the opportunity to show them that you are doing fine.

Oh, and remember to look stunning during these casual meet-ups.

You should also end the conversations at the first hint of the relationship popping up or a disagreement. It’s important not to get invested emotionally in a relationship you are not sure about at this point. So, avoid any arguing, fighting, or manipulative words meant to hurt your ex emotionally.

And how does treating your ex like a friend make them miss you?

It shows your ex that you’ve moved on and that they are no longer your priority.

And the best part?

It scares your ex.

They will see that you’ve become an independent person and miss you even more.

But what if your ex does not initiate contact?

Then take matters in your own hands, but in a subtle way, and without coming off as desperate or needy.

What does this mean?

Avoid any messages that talk about the relationship and how you want to get back together.

Instead, use the power of texts to showcase your growth, bring down your ex’s defenses, and get them emotionally invested in your conversations.

And what’s the best way to use texts?

First, you need to avoid one line texts or texts that could lead to one line replies.

For example, texting them, “How are you?”

It will be very challenging to continue this kind of conversation, especially if your ex replies with one-word texts like “fine,” “cool,” etc.

Also, avoid texting your ex about non-essential topics like the weather or your new car.

What should you text them about?

Make your ex miss you by sending texts that build emotional connections.

For example, you could start with an apology text or email. Apologize for your contribution to how things went down and ask for their forgiveness.

And remember, your message should not ask them to get back together or blame them. It should also not contain abusive language or be a ploy to defend yourself.

Then, wait patiently for their reaction.

It may take hours, days, or weeks before you get a reply, but do not send another message before your ex texts or emails you back.

Then, once they do, decide on your next cause of action.

Was the reply negative?

Then maybe it’s time to move on and find another partner.

Was it positive?

Congratulations! You can now move on to the second phase of initiating contact to make your ex miss you.

And what does this entail?

It involves using text messages that make your ex miss you and want to get back with you.

For example, you can:

  • Send memory texts.
  • Ask for directions to an inn you once visited together.
  • Ask for a recipe for one of their favorite dishes.
  • Enquire if they saw a movie you were both looking forward to watching.
  • Wish them the best on an exam or interview
  • Wish them a happy birthday

But be careful not to overdo it.

What does this mean?

  • Avoid communicating or sending messages too often.
  • Wait until they reply to your message before sending another.
  • Take some time before sending a reply to get them anxious.
  • Do not talk about missing them or the relationship in your messages.
  • Make your ex miss you by keeping the conversations short and fun.
  • Make them look forward to hearing from you again.

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 4: Ask Them to Hang Out

How to Make Your Ex Miss You Step 4 Ask Them to Hang Out
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By now, you two are constantly texting back and forth, and you know for sure, depending on the conversations, that you’ve managed to make your ex miss you.

But you are not done yet, and it’s time to ask them to hang out.

Going out together will be a great way to make your ex miss you even more.

But remember, it will not be a date or anything romantic yet. It will be two casual friends taking a walk, getting coffee, or watching a movie.

Now, this is where you need to put your game face on, showcase your changes, and make them fall in love with you again.

How can you do all this?

Do not talk about touchy-feely topics, try to hold their hand, or kiss them.

Instead, focus on making your ex have fun. Use the time to build up an emotional connection by only sticking to interesting topics, remaining confident, and enjoying their company.

Let your ex realize that you have a strong emotional connection they cannot replace with anyone else.

Trust me, after the date, they will think about you and all the fun you had. Your ex will miss you like they never have before and look forward to the next time they will see you.

Ready to Make Your Ex Miss You and Get Back Together?

Are you ready to make your ex miss you and get back together?

Then get started with our Get Your Ex Back Quiz for free.

Taking it will help you:

  • Figure out what went wrong with the relationship and fix the problems.
  • Heal from the breakup and get your life back.
  • Discover the right moves to help you make your ex miss you and get back together.
  • Stay away from mistakes that could make you lose them forever.

Reunite With Your Ex-Partner

This 14-day relationship program will help you learn how to take responsibility for your relationship, repair your mistakes, and build a stronger and happier relationship with your ex. 

You’ll learn how to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and resolve conflict in a healthy manner. By the end of this program, you’ll have the necessary tools you need to get your ex back and build a strong, lasting relationship.

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