Getting Your Ex Back: When to Stop Trying

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been trying to get back with your ex. You’ve done what you feel is right and you’ve made it clear to them how much you love them. Maybe you wake up every morning, trying to gather enough strength to get out of bed and face another day. It’s depressing and painful when you check your phone every few minutes hoping for a message or a call from them. But the call never comes. So you end up asking a lot of questions and even doubt if you should continue your attempt at getting your ex back.

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Can you get an ex back? You sure can. Should you try winning back an ex? It might be the right choice depending on the situation. Some relationships are worth another try. However, the question remains. When is it time to stop searching for ways to make your ex come back? Your effort to get them back might be draining the life force out of you. Remember that you can’t just hold on to the past forever. Sometimes your ex might just be in need of more time; sometimes it might be best to let go. Let’s give you some unbiased and useful answers to these questions.

Have you done everything to make your ex come back?

You might have done whatever you can to get your ex back. You’ve read plenty of articles and followed the steps by the book. You’ve tried to keep your distance and give them the silent treatment for a few days or so. Yet you get no results. So the question now is how much is too much? Is it too soon to stop trying to win them back? Will you lose out on a chance to get back with them if you stop now?

Maybe you don’t want to give up because you love them and because you’ve invested so much of your time and effort into your relationship. So you keep trying and trying even if it means losing yourself in the process. This can be unhealthy as you need to think about your mental and emotional well-being even when you’re trying to make your ex come back. You’ve got to stop trying sooner or later if you’re not getting any results.

Signs that say you’re not getting your ex back

Yes, it might come off as harsh. But there are signs you need to take a look at that will tell you there’s no hope of winning back an ex. Some people get too wrapped up in their past relationships, they refuse to let go even when there are signs right in front of them. They’ve seen movies and read books that give them hope. But if you observe it from a third-person point of view, you’ll clearly understand that it’s time to stop searching for tips on how to get your ex to want you back. It’s for your own sake…for your long-term happiness and for your emotional health. Take a look at these signs that will tell you that it’s time to stop trying so hard:

#1. No response/contact after the no-contact period

If you’re someone who’s trying to get your ex back, you’ve probably read about the no-contact rule. If you haven’t, the no-contact rule is basically about giving your ex and yourself a cool-off period where you don’t contact them at all. This no-contact period could last anywhere from a couple of days to a few months based on the situation. Once you’re ready to approach the situation with a fresh mindset, you send them a message or give them a call. It’s one of the most effective methods of winning back an ex, but it doesn’t always work depending on the circumstances.

Let’s say you follow the no-contact rule and avoid texting your ex for about two weeks. You decide to send them a message after the end of this initial two weeks. While in most cases you’ll get a reply, the same cannot be said for everyone. If you’re in the latter situation, you decide to wait another week before you text them again but still don’t get a reply. This can be a sign that you’re not getting your ex back.

Avoid texting them constantly if they don’t respond

When faced with such situations, you might automatically look for ways to get them to text you back. However, this isn’t the best choice for you as you’re going to end up frustrated. I get it; it’s easy to panic and start texting them repeatedly. This is possibly the worst thing you could do at this stage. Instead, it might be time to stop trying to get your ex back since they ignore you every time you reach out to them.

#3. They’re sending you negative responses

Another thing that could happen after the no-contact period is that your ex might reply. But instead of them begging to come back to you, they could be sending negative responses. Maybe they’re telling you to “back off” or to “stop bothering them”. The actual response could differ from person to person but anything in a negative context is worrying if you’re wanting to get back with your ex.

There are several reasons why your ex might be giving you a negative response after the no-contact period. It might just be because they’re angry about you not contacting them for a long time. It could also be because they’re taking out their frustrations about being unable to hold the relationship together. Unfortunately, the most plausible reason is that they just want to move on and there’s no chance of getting your ex back.

If you’re wondering which of these three reasons could be behind your ex’s negative responses, it all boils down to what your relationship was like. People who had a great relationship have a better chance of winning back an ex than those whose relationship was filled with negativity and fights. So if your relationship was healthy and you could normally have a healthy conversation with your partner, the negative responses could be due to the fact that you didn’t contact them.

At the same time, if your relationship was all about fights, jealousy, and other negative features; the negative reaction might be because they’re reminded of those negative feelings. So weigh your past relationship carefully and you might find out that it’s time to move on. You don’t deserve to be treated with negativity even if you’re fighting to get your ex back. There should come a time when you say “enough is enough” and stop trying so hard to make your ex come back.

#4. They tell you they don’t want you back (and mean it)

You might have heard these words before – “I don’t want you back.” It’s truly painful and when you heard it the first time, you might have felt like your world came crashing down. Now the thing is that there are two completely different contexts in which your ex said these words to you. They either mean it or they don’t. If they do, the chances are that you’re not getting your ex back.

Maybe you were arguing and you said hurtful things to them so they tell you that they don’t want you back although they don’t mean it. It’s a “spur of the moment” thing and a lot of people say things they don’t mean when they’re really hurt or angry. They’re not thinking clearly when they say it. If this is the case, they will be regretting those words because they do want to get back with you at some point. This is a good thing for those of you wanting to get back with your ex.The same words could be uttered by someone who really means it. This is where you need to understand that it’s time to move on and stop trying. How do you know if they mean it? Just pause for a second. Take a deep breath and analyze the situation. Does your ex avoid any form of contact with you? If they do respond to your texts, do they seem negative? If this is the case, it’s a clear sign you should stop looking for ideas on how to get your ex to want you back.It’s all about measuring their words with their actions. Sometimes we say thing we don’t mean but our actions will speak the truth. For instance, your ex might tell you that they never want to get back with you yet they still want to keep seeing you. Maybe they always text or call you and it’s like you never broke up. In such cases, there’s a good chance you’re getting your ex back. If their actions match their words, however, you need to take it as a sign that it’s time to stop trying.

#5. They’re constantly fighting with you

Fighting is a part of every relationship. How you fight and how you deal with the fights is what defines the health of your relationship. If you fought over the silliest things for the longest time during your relationship, your ex might continue to harbor negative thoughts about those fights. This means that the fighting can get even worse after the break-up and might be a sure sign you should stop trying so hard at getting your ex back.If you’ve taken some time to yourself and you’re trying to work out your personal issues, it’s likely that you’re not trying to fight with your ex anymore. But your ex continues to pick petty fights and gets angry for the silliest reasons. So no matter how calm you remain and how well you try to handle their anger, they might always get back to another fight at the end of the day. In such cases, you need to take a hard look at the situation and ask yourself if winning an ex back is really worth it.

You’re already working out your personal issues but are they willing to do the same? Some people can be immensely immature and might refuse to accept that some things could be their fault. They always play the victim card and whatever problem you face as a couple is always blamed on you. Do you think it’ll be healthy to get your ex back and continue your relationship in this kind of situation? Do you think you’ll be able to handle it in the long run?Sometimes, it’s not always a good idea to renew a relationship despite you badly wanting to get back with your ex. If your past relationship wasn’t healthy, breaking up might be the best thing for both you and your ex. If the both of you are actively attempting to make personal improvements to nurture the relationship, however, you could give it another shot.

Is winning back an ex really the best thing?

The most important question you have to ask yourself before trying to get your ex back is whether it’s the right move. Sure, you’ve been together for a long time and you’ve both invested a lot of time and effort in the relationship. Maybe you had perfect chemistry as well, so naturally you’ll be trying to get back with them. But is this really the best thing to do?

Analyze your ex as a person and consider if they’re right for you. Maybe you’re always the one making compromises. Maybe you feel like you had to constantly improve yourself to get them to stay. Relationships need effort to get going, but if it takes too much work it might be best that you stop trying to get your ex back. You need someone who will build you up; not someone who drains all the positivity and strength out of you.

As difficult as it is to follow through, you need to be in a relationship that you deserve. So unless you had a healthy relationship with good chemistry going, it might be time to stop trying to get back with your ex.