How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back: 7 Key Steps

Breakups can leave you in emotional turmoil. You keep wondering why this happened to you. You wonder why, if you were doing so well, why anything could have led to the breakup. But breakups do happen and often when you least expect it.

When you are in love, your eyes are covered in rose-tinted glasses. For you, everything is beautiful. You tend to miss the signs that will eventually lead to the breakup. But if you act quickly, and with a little help, you can get your ex-boyfriend back.

Every situation is different, but we have compiled some steps that will apply to any situation. So, here are some of the things you can do to get your ex-boyfriend back.

1. Think it Through

Before you reach out to him, you will have to clear your mind of all the emotions and think logically.

First, calm down and dry up your tears. Take some time away from him. Do not contact him during this time.

He should know that you can survive without him and you are not dependent on him for emotional support.

You need to think through your break up.

Why did it happen? Who initiated it? What was the reason?

If your mind is all jumbled due to recent events, then write everything down. This will help you make some sense of the entire situation. Sometimes, when we are emotional, we think whatever we want, but writing it all down can help you get some perspective.

Once you read everything that you have written, it will give you an understanding of what your relationship went through. Signs that you missed when you were in the relationship will be visible now. You can now make an informed decision.

Also, think through who was at fault (or was it mutual?) Take ownership if you were at fault. If you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, then you will have put your pride aside and patch things up.

2. Is He Worth the Effort?

Is your guy worth all the effort that you made in the past and are going to make in the future? Figuring this out is the hardest part.

Does he treat you with love and respect? Does he make time for you despite his busy schedule? Are you compatible?

You need answers to these questions before you think of how to get your ex-boyfriend back.

If one of the reasons for the breakup was that your relationship was toxic, then do not pursue him. Until and unless he realizes his mistake, the same things will happen again and you will get caught in a loop.

If you miss him too much and you think that he is “the one” for you, then sure, go ahead. But don’t let your self-worth and dignity get compromised.

Make sure it is not just loneliness that makes you think it is love. Hang out with your friends and you’ll know the answer. If you still miss him when you are with people you love, then it is worth the effort.

Your notion of love might be different from your friends. This is something that you need to figure out on your own, but do ask your friends for their input. They will give you their unbiased opinions.

Sometimes, your friends can see things that you can’t when you are in a relationship.

3. Work on Yourself

To get your ex-boyfriend back, you will have to work on yourself. At the start of the relationship, you took care of your looks. But as the relationship grew older, you may have taken your looks for granted.

We are not saying that your man is superficial. We are just telling you to take your grooming seriously. It tells a lot about a personality and, you want to look good for yourself, not for your guy.

Getting a makeover or even a haircut is a great way to boost your confidence. It will lift your spirits and, you will feel happy with the change.

Go out for some retail therapy. Change your wardrobe and get something that you would not usually buy.

We are not asking you to go bankrupt, just spend a little to feel good. Sometimes, materialistic things can give you momentary happiness and take your mind off the serious issues in life.

If you are feeling too anxious and depressed, then don’t shy away from seeking professional help. It is alright to ask for help when you need it.

You need to resurface from this tough situation and emerge stronger. If you are facing any self-worth issues, then seeing a counselor can help you look at the positives in your life.

4. Get A Rebound

Rebounds are not usually healthy advice, but if you’re trying to get your ex-boyfriend back, we say go for it. Why?

Sometimes you are in a relationship for so long that you might not know what you are missing. You think that this is what you want in a relationship, but there could be things that you never experienced with your ex-boyfriend. A rebound relationship can help you with that.

You need to get over the moping around phase and start meeting new people. Get a makeover and step out with your girl gang. Go to the bar and try talking to random strangers.

We are not saying that you have to take it to the next level. We are saying just talk to someone new. It will boost your confidence to know that you still have it in you to attract guys at a pub.

Meeting new people will also give you someone to compare your ex-boyfriend with. This will help you understand all his positive and negative attributes.

You will know for sure how much you miss him and why you want him back. Or you will figure out that you are doing just fine without him and you don’t want to get your ex-boyfriend back.

5. Connect with His Friends

Once you have recreated yourself, you need to connect with his friends if you want to get your ex-boyfriend back.

Call his friends and ask how he is doing. If you don’t want him to know that you are asking around about him, then tell his friends in advance. Ask them if he talks about you and if he has found a new love.

Tell them how much you miss him and ask for their help to patch things up. They can convey your message that you want him back. If he feels the same, then your job is done.

All you have to do is reconnect with him. But if he is not ready, then at least you will be prepared for your next move.

It can be difficult for you if your ex-boyfriend doesn’t talk to his friends. You will never know what he is thinking and might miss the chance if you get the wrong information. Connecting with his friends is not the surest method to get your ex-boyfriend back but it is necessary.

5. Attract His Attention

If you and your ex go to the same office or college, then it is easy for you to flaunt your new makeover to him. He can see the change and it will pique his interest.

Don’t approach him and wait for him to come to you. It’s very likely that he will reach out to you first and start the conversation. Grab this opportunity to reconnect, but don’t talk about the past. First, let him get comfortable around you again.

If he doesn’t approach you, then don’t shy away and be straight-forward. If you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, then you may have to take the first step. Go say a casual “hello” to him. See how he reacts to it.

Use your charms to attract his attention. Flirt a little bit, but don’t overdo it. He should get the hint that you are interested in him. Keep him guessing so he gets curious about you and, when he tries to talk to you, then reply amicably.

Talk to him about the new things that you are doing with your free time. He should know that you are not wasting time shedding tears over him. Your confidence will attract him.

If you were the shy type before, then surprise him with your boldness. Tell him about your recent adventures, like pub hopping, mountain climbing, salsa dancing, or whatever it is you’ve been doing with your time.

Be happy and positive when you are with him. Don’t bring up the past or your issues. Instead, drop subtle compliments for him. Let him feel loved and cared for when he is with you. He will start missing you and realize what he has lost.

6. Discuss Your Issues

Now that you have piqued his interest and he has started talking to you, start talking about the past. Having a heart-to-heart communication is the only way to find out what he is thinking.

For all you know, he might have moved on. Whatever the situation, you have to be upfront to know the answer and get your ex-boyfriend back.

Never start the conversation with what he did wrong, rather start it with what you did wrong. That way, you will keep him interested in the conversation.

Accept your shortcomings and commit to change them. Be genuine in your apology. Let him see your heart. If you express your true feelings, you can hope to get your ex-boyfriend back.

Once the apology bit is over, then move on to his shortcomings. Talk about things that he lacked, but also make it easier for him by telling him about things he is good at. That way, you can balance the conversation and not scare him away.

If he is responding well to the whole discussion, then talk about how you both can work towards making your relationship stronger. You will have to sort out all of the issues before you move ahead.

7. Ask for Second Chance

Your relationship needs another chance and, if you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, then you need to take the initiative.

When you are discussing your relationship issues with your ex-boyfriend, his reactions will tell you a lot about how he feels. If you think that his reactions are in your favor, then suggest that you both give the relationship a second chance.

You can ask him to start slow. Be clear and set your expectations. Tell him that you know that things will not start from where you left off. It will take time and, you are ready to invest that kind of time for him. Your dedication is bound to help you get your ex-boyfriend back.

If you think that your ex-boyfriend is still not ready for that kind of commitment, then leave the discussion with the offer of friendship. That way, you will remain close to him and hopefully, sooner than later, he may realize that you are the girl for him.

Conclusion

It is difficult to get second chances in this world, but if you want one, then you will have to make the effort.

People sometimes don’t value love when they have it. They only realize it after it is gone. Don’t be the person who lives in regret because you didn’t make an effort.

Move ahead and try to get your ex-boyfriend back. If he is the right guy for you, he will love you no matter what. Even if it is not a successful attempt, at least you can have closure and move on peacefully.

We sincerely hope that our tips were able to help you get your ex-boyfriend back. If you have a rare case and want to discuss things with us, then do leave your comments and suggestions.