Your Ex is Texting You Regularly? How Should You Respond?

You have just started wondering if getting back with your ex would ever be possible, when your phone perks up and to your surprise it’s a text from your ex! Nervous? Don’t be. You have been offered another chance and you should make the most of it.

A lot of people often misinterpret the situation and end up missing out a second chance. This is when you should measure your words carefully and be mindful of everything you are saying.

If your ex-partner has been texting you regularly, it is very likely that he is also willing to make the relationship work again. But, if you are not careful, you might end up losing the opportunity. However, you need to first consider why your ex would be texting before worrying about how you will respond. Here are a few possibilities;

#1. He Still Misses You

It’s the first thing that will come to your mind when you see texts from your ex. A breakup takes longer to heal than most imagine. So, it is possible that he actually misses you and wants to talk. But, it should not be mistaken for love or a willingness to make the relationship work again. He could just be missing you because he has no one else in his life.

#2. He Needs You

You may have been a strong figure in his life, a source of inspiration and support. That’s why he probably still feels that he needs you. He could be looking for that strength that he found in you and helped keep him going.

#3. He is Still in a State of Denial

A lot of people cannot immediately accept that a relationship is over. They try to keep the communication going because they are afraid of losing touch with their former partner. Your ex could be going through something similar.

#4. He is Trying to Maintain Cordial Terms

Maybe he doesn’t want to end the relationship on bitter terms and just wants to maintain a cordial and friendly relationship with you.

#5. He Still Loves You

If an ex is texting you regularly, there is a high possibility that he is still in love with you and hasn’t gotten over you. He probably wants to get back with you and start the relationship over.

#6. He is Looking for Revenge

Although disturbing, this is real a possibility, and it depends on what kind of a person he is. If he is badly heartbroken and strongly believes that you did him wrong, he could be trying to get back with you only because he wants to make you realize where you went wrong.

If you have thought about why your ex is texting you, and you desperately want to get back together, this could be a golden opportunity. Here are a few tips on how to respond to your former partner’s text messages;

#1. Do Not Respond Immediately

Don’t text back right away. Give it some time. If it was you texting him right after a breakup, he probably wouldn’t have responded at all. So make sure you do not immediately express your eagerness. If he has texted you once, he will again. Especially, if he doesn’t get a response initially. So, do not worry about losing him again by delaying your response.

#2. How Long Should You Wait to Reply?

However, the important part here is, how long you should wait before you reply. It depends on the situation. If it’s his first message since your breakup, you can wait longer, or even choose not to reply until he sends you another. But if he has been texting you regularly and you suddenly stop responding he might feel that he has offended you in some way. This can have negative repercussions. He may try to disengage emotionally. So your replies should be courteous but must not appear as being too clingy. Treat it casually and respond when possible and without rushing to send a reply while leaving everything else aside.

#3. Send a Short Reply

Don’t pour your heart out in your very first response. He should not get the feeling that you were dying to talk to him. This might make him re-think his feelings, which may not be good for you. When you do reply make sure to send a short, to-the-point reply. So if he asks, “Hey, how you doing?” Your response should be something along the lines of, “All good, how about you?”

#4. Keep the Tone Casual

For a while forget he is your ex. Try to think of him as a friend, and not as someone close. Talk to him like you would talk to a that kind of friend. Casual and not too elaborate. Keep the tone of your conversation simple and easy, avoid talking in riddles or saying something which he might misinterpret as a hint.

#5. Do Not Bring Up the Past

Don’t go back to discussing past relationship issues. Avoid such conversations, at least at the initial stage. You need to be sure about his real motives before you start discussing the relationship. Otherwise it will seem as though you are still waiting for him to come back.

#6. Do Not Show Your Excitement

If he texts you saying he has been missing you or thinking about you, contain your excitement. If you really want to get back with him, you’re obviously going to feel exhilarated by such a statement. But hold on, are you sure he genuinely means it? Even if he does, do not make yourself readily available. Instead, play with your words. Keep him guessing whether you feel the same way about him.

#7. Your Efforts Should Match His

Whenever your ex texts you, he is putting some effort into it. Do not put in more effort than him. If he sends you a one-word text, don’t reply with a long message. For example, if he says “Hey,” reply with “Hey.” It is even better if you do not reply at all. Be sure not to reward him for minimal effort.  

Conclusion

If you were once involved in a intense relationship with someone, it is difficult to end it all with just a few words. It will keep coming back and you will get opportunities to revive it. If you feel that the relationship is worth another try, make sure you are smart about how to take advantage of those opportunities.